For those of you who know me I have been a fan of New Kids on the Block for over 23 years now. I owe everything to these 5 guys from Boston. Bear with me as I explain everything.
I was born 5 years after my sister and was an unwanted child. My sister was born with spina bifida and my mother did not want another child. She found out too late that she was pregnant with me to do anything about it. I guess I should thank her for that, although she lets me know that if she had found out she was pregnant earlier, she would have gotten rid of it. Thanks Mom! Anyway, I digress. I was a very shy child. I guess that comes from my mother being a stay at home mom and I didn't really interact with other kids my age until I went to preschool. It didn't get much easier from there as I was an extremely thin child and was made fun of mercifully. That and the fact that I didn't know how to interact with others made life in school almost unbearable. Somehow I did make friends, some who were fair weather friends, and a few really great friends. To make matters worse, my sister and I were abused at home by our step father mostly. When I was 11 years old my sister committed suicide. The official death certificate will tell you shunt malfunction related to the spina bifida but I know otherwise. My sister was such a fighter. When she was born she was given 3 months to live. She lived 17 years. She underwent over 40 operations in her short life and came through all of them just fine. She just gave up fighting. After she died, I was left at home alone to deal with the brunt of the abuse. I was verbally, mentally & physically abused by my mother and verbally, physically, mentally, & sexually abused by my step-father. I cannot tell you how many times I just wanted to end it all & how many times I came close to ending it. Then one Saturday morning, I turned on MTV and a video came on. The song was called Please Don't Go Girl and I fell head over heels in love with Joe McIntyre, okay with all 5 guys, although in my opinion Joe was the cutest and the one that really caught my eye. That day changed and saved my life. New Kids on the Block gave me a reason to live. I bought all their albums, cut out articles & pictures of them from magazines, bought a couple of their books. The one thing that I always wanted to do was to go see them in concert. I never got the chance. At the point in time I was a junior in high school and my parents being as strict as they were never allowed me to go to concerts. Honestly, I wasn't allowed to do much of anything except babysit. The closest I came to seeing a concert was a pay-per-view that my mother allowed me to order. The only reason I got to see that was because my father wasn't home that night or I wouldn't have even gotten that. I graduated high school in 1990 and went off to college. I made friends there and found out that one of my friends had tickets to the Providence show (which also ended up being a pay-per-view) but didn't go because his girlfriend didn't want to. Man was I sick that night. By the time I found out he had the tickets and would have taken me if he had known, the show was already 1/2 over. By the time I was out of college in 1994 and had a job of my own, the group had gone their separate ways. I followed Joe, but was never able to see him solo either. I had all but given up hope of ever seeing them together. I got married (coincidentally to a Joe Mac - yeah his friends actually called him that) and had kids. Life went on. But married life for me was not the best. Honestly looking back I don't even know why we got married in the first place. We grew apart and pretty much led separate lives, although I wasn't allowed to do anything. He would get mad if I got involved with the kids activities. He was a homebody and I tend to be a social person. I like to get out and enjoy things. I guess that comes from growing up stuck in the basement of my parents house. Then I caught him cheating on me. I decided to stay and work things out for the kids. He said that he was going to get counseling, but didn't do his part. In 2008 NKOTB announced their reunion. I found out about it on the internet after it had been announced. I cannot explain the emotions that I went through. I was elated, excited, and the hope that I had lost so long ago came back into my life, in fact, it hit me like a freight train! With the announcement of the reunion, I got online and went on the boards. I met some wonderful friends there, mostly Joe girls like myself. I bought a ticket for my first NKOTB concert ever, and not just any ticket, a 5* ticket. My husband couldn't figure out why I wanted to see them in concert because he figured that I had seen them as a teenager. I had to explain to him that I never saw them. Before I even got to see my first concert, I traveled to NYC to see them on the Today Show. Unfortunately, that show was not to be as Hurricane Gustav was on track to hit the Gulf Coast and the show was canceled. When I got home from NYC the reception that I received at home made me realize that I couldn't stay in my marriage. I decided that day to get myself organized and get my finances in order so that I could leave my husband. A few months later he made it easy for me by walking out on me. From my point of view, NKOTB now saved my life not once, but twice. No, I wasn't thinking of giving up the second time, I just wasn't living life, and that wasn't what I wanted my kids to learn. I want them to grow up experiencing all kinds of things and living life to its fullest. I want to teach them that when opportunity knocks you need to open up that door wide and accept it!
So now on the my experience.
To date, I have done 5 5*'s (if I am counting correctly) and 1 cruise. I was lucky enough to get one 5* Ultimate for this tour. Every time I get in a room with those guys everything I want to say to them goes out the window. I wasn't about to let that happen this time around. Going to Mohegan Sun on Monday afternoon, I was nervous as hell. When I got there, I realized that I hadn't had anything to eat all day. I could feel my blood sugar dropping. Unfortunately the food in 5* was not the greatest. Pretzels and cookies. Oh well, here goes. Since I hadn't eaten, I needed to eat to avoid passing out in front of the guys. Pretzel, cookie, and a coke later, I was ready to drink some liquid energy. Glass of wine. Managed to drink about a 1/4 of it before they called the Ultimates. Somehow I managed to be the last Ultimate in. YAY me! The girl ahead of me spent some time talking to Donnie, I think. Anyway, security started pushing me in. I walk in and all the guys were paying attention to the girl before me. I looked at Joe and then at Danny and opened my arms and started saying something like "Who's want to give me a hug first?" That never got out. As I was looking towards Danny, Joe turns around and starts shaking his butt at me. Needless to say I was quite shocked as I had my arms out for a hug. (Not to mention, I am still very shy & naive when it comes to things like that.) I couldn't even look at Joe. I'm sure my face was bright red. Danny says to me, "Go ahead and spank it." I came back with some very witty (sarcastic voice here) comment to the extent of "You can't surprise me like that." Danny then said "You had your chance." Yeah, the story of my life. So Joe turned around and gives me a big hug. Then I hugged Danny, Jordan, Donnie, and Jon. Jon still gives the best hugs. He just held on to me for a while. I didn't think he was going to let go. (Luv him!) Donnie asked who I wanted to be between, I said "Joe - always been a Joe girl, and Jon." Joe said something and started laughing. All the while I'm not even seeing straight. I could hear what was going on around me, but I couldn't see. Probably from being so nervous. So I get between Joe and Jon and we take the serious pic. Then Joe says Ultimate pose and they all squeezed in. Joe and Jon got so close my face was cheek to cheek with them. It almost felt like that thing growing up when you would squeeze your face tight with your hands and say "Hey Mister Bus Driver could you please open the door." Anyway, after that pic was taken, I had to just get everything out or I would miss yet another opportunity. So I stared straight ahead and just blurted it out. I told them "Thank you for making a lifelong dream come true. 23 years ago you saved my life." Donnie & Joe were both looking at me and I heard Donnie say, "No sweetie, you saved your life. We may have helped, but you made the choice." Joe said something too, not too clear on what it was. Donnie gave me a high five then. I again told them thank you. It's because of you that I'm here today. Donnie then gave me a double high five. At that point I really needed his glasses (which he wasn't wearing any). LOL! Then I looked at Joe and said "Joe, I have something for you." The look on his face melted me. He had this look like, honey you don't need to give me anything. You being here is enough. I almost couldn't say anything else, but somehow managed to find my voice. I told Joe, "My friend couldn't make it to this tour this time around and asked if I could get a letter to you. She sent it to me and I'm giving it to you." He looked at me and said "Awwww, you're so sweet. I love you!" I looked at him and said "I love you too!" and he gave me another hug. I thanked them all again and was escorted out of the room. For the first time in a 5* I felt like I had time with each of the guys and got the entire experience. I won't lie and say I walked out of that room and didn't have some regrets because that's not true. I did have some regrets (as I always do), but the regrets are small and mostly forgettable. I regret not taking advantage of the opportunity that Joe presented to me, but I'm okay with that. I regret not being able to explain more to them about saving my life, but again I was able to tell them the impact they had on me and that is really all I wanted. The only other regret I have is that I didn't have anyone there to share it with me, but I have shared it with my closest friends already so again I am okay with that.
Front row was also a dream come true. I was so close to the guys for the majority of the show. A few times I feel like they looked at me and smiled. Joe was right in front of me for "Hey, hey I feel all right, one time...two times...ten times." I couldn't even take pictures of that. I was enjoying the view and the experience too much. In fact, I had to grab hold of the barricade because I felt my knees go weak when it was over with. Being escorted inside the barricade for 4 songs was okay. I still have mixed feelings on that. I know they did If You Go Away and Please Don't Go Girl (which always brings me to tears) while we were in the barricade, but I don't recall the other 2 songs. Joe was on the ground right in front of me during the end of Please Don't Go Girl, so that was well worth it. And of course, the show was all I expected and more (as usual).
I have regular 5* for tomorrow night's show and I'm hoping that I get to say a little more to at least Joe. And a small part of me hopes that they remember me, although I don't think that they will. I would have liked to have a present ready for Joe's baby girl, but my life is crazy enough as it is and I just can't stress myself out more than necessary. As I didn't properly plan, it will be a missed opportunity that I will have to come to terms with.
I am extremely happy and at a good place in my life. I have made some AMAZING friends since the reunion! I have 3 beautiful boys, 2 of whom love NKOTB almost as much as I do. I am enjoying my life again. And to think it all started 23+ years ago with a little song called Please Don't Go Girl by 5 virtually unknown teenagers from Boston. Few people understand what they mean to those of us Blockheads who are living through the craziness not once, but twice now. We are lucky enough to have a once in a lifetime happen twice.
